Why women have extramarital affairs?
Speak about a loaded theme that no one wants to talk about, that’s it. Funny thing, extramarital affairs have been going on from the beginning of the world. Affairs can be burdened with troubles, cause misery, and other harms. In addition you must wrap your maind around all the other issues, there’s that truth and frankness issue, finances, age dissimilarity, spiritual education, remorse, and on and on. I expect there will be some strong opinions about some of this.
For the purpose of this post I should identify an affair as a long term, maybe decades long relationship of a sexual nature between two people of whom one or both are married to other persons, discreet wives dating.
Why do married people have extramarital affairs? There are as many answers as there are people seeking affairs. I think typically though it is just the human nature, the need for love, belonging, to be wanted and cared for, the caring for others and wanting to be loved and respected. Here are a few reasons I have run across.
Physically we as humans are all sexual beings. Nature has us set up to reproduce, to have sex. Sex is pleasurable and exciting, and sex makes us get away the real world for a brief period of time. This euphoria exists for whatever amount of time we are able to keep the adrenalin levels high enough. Somebody are able to turn the wish on and off, some are brilliant at controlling it and others are so-so at best. Though we all have it, young and mature, able bodied and not so able. It is the Human condition. For some of us it is the sex act itself that drives us. For some of us it is the excitement of the hunt. For some of us it is the seduction, for some it is the love for another person, for some it is the wish to be appreciatedloved, for some it is the whole romance thing. These wishes and yearnings can be so strong they prevail over the taboos culture has erected against married dating. For many people the yearnings will beat their doubts and make them risk the fury of not only their relatives, but society too. So why, what is the means?
Sex Addicts, maybe some of us are. Sex is awfully good, better then drugs, a natural high. If you are in this group of physically motivated sex addicts and can find away to have an affair and not injure your relatives or anybody else? You will need to minimize the risk you are taking. If you have the feeling that a good affair is one that is beneficial to everybody, then good luck.
No love at home, or no romance. I suppose this is the major cluster, huge actually. There are many couples whose marriage is over, but they are comfortable in the way they live, and upsetting the extended families is not on their list of things they wish to do. You love your spouse but there is no romance. Then there are the children to look after. Your funds are so entwined. You need the medical insurance, and so on. There are a lot of reasons to live together besides love and sex.
Physical reasons, there are some people who can not have sex. They have physical reasons that prevent them completing the sex operation, at least not with their othere half. An affair occasionally solves the trouble while keeping the marriage intact.
Avoidance, sorrowfully this is a common cause I fear. One or the other, frequently the gentleman is sexually neglecting his female for a number of reasons. As a male I really appreciate you guys neglecting your ladies and making them accessible to us guys of romance, making them “hot milfs” But I still think it is despicable that you are neglectful. Also there is the spouse who is neglectful until the wife or husband has an affair, then they condemn them for doing so, when they where the catalyst. Those who neglect, then condemn, are not only neglectful, but evil.
Something is just missing in the marriage, I can not put my finger on it, but its not there. Perhaps its romance that is missing, could be it is a shortage of love, could be caring is gone, maybe it is the intimacy, maybe neglect. Could be we have simply grown apart, our relulas concerns diverged. Could be it is that what I want, and what I want to do the rest of my ages, is opposed to of what you want. Could be I simply don’t know what I want from the marriage anymore. Could be, just maybe I miss that feeling that when I am with you, it just feels right.
The major reason people give is, they search for the excitement that is missing and so very much longed for.
There are other reasons, the feeling of power, to run off, for economic gain, for vengeance and so on. I am sure there are more reasons why people have affairs then these. I only stop because if this gets too long no one will read it.